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[May. 3rd, 2008|02:37 am] |
Winston and Bella are restless and it is contagious so now I'm up. A moth got into the room earlier and the cats went berserk. I had to catch it and put it outside. Even then, they stood at the foot of the bed looking up at the ceiling, half-expecting it to appear out of the thin air. Now they are all riled up and not wanting to go to bed at all.
The scope of the next few weeks is immensely overwhelming. School work by itself would be enough to drive me a little bonkers, and yet on top of that I have to deal with the fact that I'm graduating. Oh, and that whole getting a job thing. I'm not too worried about it but it's a little unnerving right now. I feel better when I'm settled. I'm feeling very unsettled at the moment. Much like Winston and Bella.
I'm pretty proud of the work I've done this year in school. I get really angry sometimes about my peers being so immature and unwilling to put forth any effort for any worthwhile cause. I'm not activist, but I do get really upset when people stereotype our generation. Seeing that stereotype lived out by my generation makes me even angrier.
Living without Sara has become pretty impossible. I need her to come back and I'm really glad that it's going to be soon. It's weird how adverse I felt towards a sort of single person lifestyle when I was forced into living it. I miss Sara every second of every day and I really depend upon her for a lot. That's not to say that I am dependent upon her for survival but my feeling of fulfillment at the end and beginning of every day has a lot to do with having her beside me at those times.
It's really strange having run-ins with objects that used to hold a huge place of significance in your life. Recently, I've been experiencing such things a lot: goldfish, soccer balls, playmobile, etc.
When I was a kid I used to be totally obsessed with playmobile. I used to set them up in elaborate scenes and make up some kind of story to go along with it. Then I'd turn the lights out in the room and drag my parents in to look at each little scene, armed with a flashlight (to point out the scene I was talking about) and some sort of freakish overactive imagination...which eludes me now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2007|10:02 pm] |
Hey another entry within a month of that other one.
I'm at the house in Kissimmee. It's awfully strange being back in Florida. I hate driving around because of all the traffic and I hate the amount of people within a square mile of me right now. It's terrifying. I don't think I could ever actually 'settle down' in Florida having been out of the state for the last three years. Florida raised me but it has also jaded me. Although, I've been thinking about grad-school a lot and I might go back to UF for that. I have a connection through one of the professors at Brevard and he can get me in with a phone call. Hopefully they'll ignore my previous defection. Hey, it's not like I transferred to FSU or something. Brevard is harmless. P.S. - I love Brevard
I had a strange dream last night that I transferred from Brevard to UF. It brought back a lot of terrible memories. I met a lot of great people at UF but I was pretty miserable. I wasn't ready for that culture shock. Having been out in the world, even if in sheltered Brevard, for a few years, I think I could handle it now. I'd like to go back there now. Although, there are plenty of other places to look. I'll keep my options open this time.
I'm looking forward to being back in Brevard. I like being in my own house. It'll be so much better when I am financially independent from my parents and finally completely on my own. Of course, I'll come crawling back when I go to grad school, asking for more money. That's pretty terrible to think about but hopefully I'll get some good assistantships and I can make some money.
I've written so many half-songs lately that I couldn't count them. I really should finish some of them. I just have no motivation. I wish Jimmy and I lived closer to one another so we could play together. I need someone else to keep me going. Maybe later...
While the merry bells keep ringing, happy holidayyyyyyyyyyys...to youuuuuuuuuuuuu. |
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| Just to freak people out... |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|01:58 pm] |
I'm going to write a livejournal entry after over a year of nothing. I went back and read a lot of it today. I'm a silly human being and always have been.
I signed a six month lease at a new house today. I'll be living with Alex again. I should have just found a place with him in the first place. If we can live in the same room together for over a year then we can definitely share a house together. Oh yeah, Jonathan Paige will be there too. I'm excited.
When I went by to sign the lease the house was still kind of a wreck which makes me nervous but one of my landlords was there cleaning and said she would be all day. Lets hope it looks better before the move tomorrow.
I've been thinking a lot about this summer. It would be so amazing to stay in Summerville with Mary and A.J., Addie and Jenna, but I don't want to move out of this new house and have to find a new one starting in August while also trying to get a real job. So many life choices, so little time.
1. My senior project is gonna own.
2. I have so many songs to finish and record.
3. I wish I played music somewhere with someone.
4. Moving is gonna suck tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|09:06 pm] |
I hope none of you have heard that Outback Steakhouse commercial with the Of Montreal song...I threw up a little in my mouth when I heard it. Then I just got really pissed off.
Oh well...at least I started not liking them before this. I wouldn't want to be accused of disliking them because they "sold out." They just suck now. I should say, Kevin Barnes sucks now. Kevin Barnes, you suck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|01:00 am] |
Went to Magic Kingdom with people from work tonight...32 people to be exact. It was loud. I don't do well in large groups. I should have realized this might have been a problem before I decided to go.
I guess when you have a normal sleep schedule you actually have dreams and remember them. That has been my experience for the last month or so. All of my dreams have one thing in common. Guess.
This weekend is bound to be good. It better be. |
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| Open for business |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|07:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sufjan Stevens | ] |
My parents are leaving for vacation later today. They'll be gone until July 28th. That's a Friday (two weeks from this Friday, in fact). I've decided to temporarily turn our house into an inn. The fee is hanging out with me and saving me from dying from solitary confinement. You may even qualify for free admission into any of the four Disney World parks. Someone, anyone...please come stay in grand, old Kissimmee. ALL YOUR WILDEST DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.
This isn't a joke. It's completely serious. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2006|09:14 pm] |
Working pram (stroller) parking at work makes me kind of depressed. So many strollers. So many kids.
Yesterday, when I was working at pram parking this little girl who was probably about 4 or 5 years old walking towards me with an apple in her hand. The apple was half-eaten and she had the hand holding the apple way up in the air, but it still only reached about as high as my belly button. She came straight up to me as I was handing her stroller to the other person working pram parking. She stopped just short of running into me and looked up at me and said with a smile, "I have an apple." I replied, "You sure do!" I began to continue by asking if it was yummy, but she cut me off by saying in a hurried and determined voice, "It's not spaghetti." She wasn't at all upset because it wasn't spaghetti. She just thought I needed to know that it wasn't spaghetti. It was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. I honestly had trouble responding, not just for confusion over why she thought I thought it might be spaghetti, but also because my face was melted off because of how cute she was. I eventually responded, "You are definitely right about that." Before I finished saying that though she had turned her back and was walking away very apathetic to me.
Being a 19 year old male I probably should cringe at the thought of having kids. But I, for one, cannot wait.
My parents are leaving for two weeks starting next Tuesday. When we were talking about this I told them (and Grandma) that some of my cousins with their kids should come so I can take them to Disney World. So what if I'm bribing people with free admission to the parks so that I don't have to spend two weeks in an empty house. I have no shame... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|11:42 pm] |
The Fourth of July is all about remembering. I hope a lot of remembering gets done.
I'm not dumb.
This wasn't ordinary. When would this ever happen again?
Someone really lame once said about serious relationships that they are the hardest work you'll ever love. Work. Willing? |
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| short update really early in the morning |
[Jun. 30th, 2006|06:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
After tomorrow I will have worked 53.3 hours this week.
I have two days off after tomorrow. Thank the lord...or Mickey Mouse. Pretty much the same thing.
Grandma Noonie is coming tomorrow!!!
Sunday I'm playing at church.
My bank account doesn't know how to react to all this money in it.
Monday I'm going to Tampa to visit CBBG... |
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| Lots of things to talk about...and lots of things to NOT talk about |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|08:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Beatles | ] |
Monday I had jury duty. The entire time I felt like I was in a movie. Actually I've felt like I've been in a movie for a while now. I've been a strange state for a while. I suppose it's a period of discovery. However, periods of discovery after you thought you knew yourself pretty well are an entirely different story. That probably wasn't the greatest way to say that.
Anyways, jury duty was the culmination of this entire experience. The early hours didn't really bother me. I've been getting up at 6:30 for work for a while now. I arrived around 7:30 and wandered around, trying to find where I was supposed to go for a while. Eventually I found THE ROOM. Basically we were put in this huge refridgerator until they needed us. For about an hour this lady yelled at us, letting us know all the reasons we couldn't get out of jury duty. I guess they skip over the people that just want to get over it and decide to make them sit through their rants. After she was done I just sat reading for about four hours. I was reading a WWII book with a big swastika on the side. I guess I was hoping that would keep me from getting picked. I listened as they rattled numbers off every now and then. I guess I didn't have what they wanted.
Throughout these hours of endless waiting, a thought popped into my head. It wasn't just jury duty that led me to this line of thinking. I've noticed at work too. I guess I've been trying to reach out and make some "friends," even if they are just at work. It was a similar experience at jury duty. I really wanted someone to just strike up a conversation with me. Everyone that knows me well knows that I will almost never initiate contact with another member of the human race, but I wish like hell that someone would do the same with me. At this point I realized that there were plenty of people around me talking to one another. All the smokers were together talking about...whatever. I guess their conversations started off as what brand of cigarette they smoked or where the nearest convenience store was. It didn't matter; now they were chatting away like old friends. These next observations are in no way meant to be racist, just simple facts of life. All the black people found it really easy to talk about. I have no clue what their conversations started with. I suppose they just randomly start talking. Also, all the spanish speaking people had cordoned off a section of the room for themselves. They immediately began what seemed to my stupid American ears to be a jibber jabber of ESPANOL. Then, of course, all the moderately good-looking to cute girls started talking together. Lord only knows what they were talking about. They seemed to be all talking on their cell phones at the same time they were talking to one another.
If you're still with me here you're probably wondering what my damn point is. I'm not sure I really have one. I just remember feeling like I needed to work on myself. I'm sure I can get better at initiating conversations. I should be the champion after moving so many times as a kid. I should make friends better than everyone. I think part of what goes along with this in my personality is that I have no great need for a plethora of friends. I am quite satisfied with three or four of the greatest friends I could ever have. In fact, I am in that situation now. Even so, work is making me friends without much effort on my part at all. It's a good thing. But it's strange to have these friends who probably won't be permanent at all. They definitely keep work interesting though (as if it needs help to be interesting). I could probably write a lot more but I'm stopping now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|05:29 pm] |
Right now on ESPN 2 they are showing dominoes...DOMINOES?!?!?!
AND all of the players are black. Can't we at least break some stereotypes if we're gonna put DOMINOES ON TV!!!! |
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| please |
[Jun. 13th, 2006|12:28 pm] |
I really need someone to go to disney with me today. I can't get you in for free but I can get us free parking and really cheap food. Don't force me to go by myself and cry on Peter Pan...
Yeah...now you CAN'T refuse me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2006|11:04 pm] |
I really wish my lyric writing abilities were not subpar.
That's right...subpar. I'm pulling out the big guns.
Oh, I'm officially a "cast member" of Walt Disney World Resort (specifically Disney's Animal Kingdom, or DAK as we like to call it in the business). I have this little id card in my wallet right now that will get me into any park I want, without paying parking. Oh, I also get discounts on pretty much everything that Disney makes. This job may be goofy and not pay very well, but it's turning out alright. Did I mention I'll be driving trucks through the savannah filled with giraffes, zebras, water buffalo, gazelles, lions (they are separate from the others), etc.
Things worked out really well. These past two days I've felt so much better than I have for a while. I am just about as hopeful now as I was when this whole thing began.
I wasn't scheduled for tomorrow and for a few days after that so I get to celebrate my wonderful girlfriend's birthday with her, her family, my best friend, and my other best friend who just so happens to be my best friend's girlfriend. How perfect is that?
Still, Carolina is calling my name. North, not that nasty 'South' thing. |
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| please....a moment to reflect |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|11:44 pm] |
For her face that shines, in the morning glow
And the outside world, will never know
What she means to me, and what I owe to her |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2006|09:22 pm] |
I'm finding that summer for college students is an interesting phenomenon. I've been talking to lots of people from Sarasota and various other places that I've lived. I'll never have that experience of going back to one's hometown and gushing about the year of college that they have completed. My personality wouldn't really enjoy those conversations anyways. I'll also be able to skip the awkward disintigration of high school relationships which always seem to change when people spend most of the year at different colleges. That being said, I do miss Sarasota. Well, I probably just miss feeling at home in a place. Brevard was definitely home while I was there; it became so really quickly. Sarasota will always be home because of high school and all that goes with it. Seminole still feels like home whenever I'm there. Chelsea's home and Chelsea's presence are the best home of all. Of course I've left out the most obvious home of all: my parent's house.
I think it's important to say that this isn't a complaint. I'm just writing in order to figure out my own thoughts about my situation. I have a job...good. I have my tv and my guitar and all of the things I had up at Brevard...good. My parents are here...good (I suppose...to a certain degree, you know how it goes). But Kissimmee doesn't feel like home yet. I'm not sure it ever will, but I'm ok with that.
They asked me at Disney what to put on my nametag as my hometown. I decided on Brevard, North Carolina after a pause. I'm not sure how significant that is, but it made me smile a little bit. I'm on my way out and I can't wait.
On an unrelated note, if anyone wants to hear a recording of a song I wrote and recorded with jimmy kaufholz and amy harwood let me know. |
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| YO |
[May. 26th, 2006|01:01 am] |
WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHH
this still exists? killer.
update on my life in as few words as possible:
kissimmee. turkey sandwiches. late night tv. job searching. guitar. writing songs. missing my best friend, the gorgeous chelsea deming. (i love her, you know) lonely and bored.
that is all... |
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| snow |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|06:14 pm] |
it snowed last night...
chelsea slept all day so I stayed in, watched the snowfall, watched the gators win, and watched the olympics.
when chelsea woke up we went for a walk in the snow and made the best snow man you will ever see...
i'll post pictures when i figure out how to upload them somewhere...
hello to everyone i haven't talked to in a long time.
rest assured i miss you.
but north carolina is incredible.
and so is my girlfriend |
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weezybake's journal
hopeful
